rabbijaffe

OK. When Avraham went to Egypt, the culture of the people was such that people might kill a person so they could snatch their wife. Apparently murder was fairly common, as well as socially acceptable, but adultery was taboo.

Avraham had no choice but to travel to Egypt. And to avoid death, he told his wife to tell people that she was his sister.

And it worked.

Sort of.

She did get snatched. But Avraham didin’t die. And thanks to the miracles of God, things worked out just fine in the end.

Did Avraham make a mistake?

Was this the best way to handle the situation?

For sure things didn’t turn out as bad as they could have, but in my gut this story just doesn’t settle well. Was there really not a better option?

And sure enough, when Avraham goes to the city of Gerar pretty much the exact same story happens again!

At this point it starts to seem a little ridiculous.

Could he not choose a slightly altered lifestyle which did not result in the occasional abduction of his wife?

Still unclear to me.

But in this week’s parsha, Parshat Toldot, my mind just truly draws a blank. It’s one thing if the Torah speaks of a story happening twice to the same person, but to have the story happen yet ANOTHER time, but this time to Avraham’s son Yitzchak, well that’s just starting to sound bizarre.

I want to yell: In two generations of very intelligent people, was no one able to think of a better way of dealing with these issues? In two generations were we not capable of preventing ourselves from angering kings in the different lands to which we travelled?

And I know that there’s nothing less satisfying than hearing a good question followed by a nonchalant: That’s just the way it is.

But:

That’s just the way it is.

Going where we don’t belong. Instinctual reactions. Repeated reactions. Kids doing what their parents do, despite everything they now know and/or thought they might do under the same circumstances.

People rarely change. People rarely update their ways of handling things. And if it worked out once the first time, they’re even more reluctant to alter their modus operandi.

The original leaders of the Jewish people were wonderful individuals.

But they were people.

I will always love how the Torah presents our heroes with all their nuances. They make mistakes. Sometimes they improve. Other times what you see is what you get. They’re reactive on occasion. They have family and personal issues. They laugh. They cry. They feel.

You know, when I was growing up the founding fathers of the United States of America were presented to me as flawless heroes. As I got older, the story kept on getting repeated, but each time a few more details were added as I could “handle it”. And by the time I got to college there were no heroes left. Everyone was bad. Everyone did horrible things. Everyone made despicable decisions along the way.

But isn’t that real hero?

What benefit do I gain from learning about people who are above mistakes and flaws? I could never relate to them. If I cannot relate to them, I can’t compare my life to their life, or my decisions to their decisions.

But the Avot, the forefathers of the Jewish people, are loaded with qualities that I can relate to. Nevertheless their accomplishments have gone farther than any others in the history of the world.

I too can make a difference… and I can be just a regular guy while it happens. 

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