rabbijaffe

First off, I’d like to say that I’m a little surprised that no one mentioned to me my blunder from last week. In all the confusion that is my life, I wrote about the wrong Torah portion. This week is Parshat Mishpatim, and last week was Parshat Yitro.

All I can say is: Oops!

But I’m still going to make up for lost time, especially seeing as I spent a day nursing an aching body, that might have not happened if I had a father-in-law like Moshe had.

Let me explain:

Moshe had a father-in-law named Yitro (or Jethro in English). His father-in-law was a good man, and a man who seemed to have a solid and unique ability to search for the truth in any given situation.

So when he woke up one morning to find his son-in-law judging for the millions of Jews all by himself, he couldn’t help but speak up. He intelligently and realistically suggested that this scenario will lead to Moshe burning himself out, and consequently burning out the rest of the nation alongside of him.

He made several reasonable suggestions, which were basically a systematic establishment of a court system. Moshe would teach the others to be judges, and he would still serve as the top decision maker and the arbitrator for all ultra-difficult cases; but Moshe would have a system in place that would be more productive, and more stable and sustainable, which would ultimately prevent his premature exhaustion and the inevitable demise of his people.

Yitro’s advice was good. I’d say super-good.

But just as impressive was Moshe’s ability to accept the advice.

We’ve all been in situations where we choose to do something rather than delegating it to another because we fully understand that if we do it, not only will it definitely happen, but it will happen better.

I can’t imagine what it must be like to be in charge of a corporation, constantly delegating responsibilities, but knowing the whole time in your heart of hearts that you could do all those responsibilities far better and more efficiently.

But this simple isn’t reality. No one human being can run a corporation or a society. This is a fact. Moshe’s ability to understand the fact the first moment it was expressed to him speaks worlds of his good character.

The stubborn man, i.e. the average man, would not have realized the truth of Yitro’s words until he keeled over, ill from having worked himself into the ground.

The keys to success: A good quality mentor, and the ability to listen to that mentor.

Perhaps if I had a Yitro, I wouldn’t have attempted to shovel out my block the other day (the job of a truck!) and I would be in less pain right now.

Sigh… 

It’s Monday morning. The snow stopped falling at 3PM Saturday afternoon. And despite the fact that after five hours of back-breaking shovelling my home and car, it’s of no consequence. My street has yet to be plowed. No car could come in or out of our street. We have been abandoned by Baltimore City.

Again. 

There’s a number to call (311). And trust me, we’ve called. Numerous times. We’ve gotten every response imaginable, including being told that they won’t get to our street until some time on TUESDAY. My block is filled with small children. There are elderly people, single ladies, and pregnant women. Nothing seemed to compel Baltimore City into thinking we are a priority.

And don’t think for a moment the rest of the city has shut down. Hardly. Stores are open. My wife’s place of employment is up-and-running, despite her inability to get there. It’s as if we were abandoned on a little island of snow, with no one coming to rescue us.

So, what are we to do? We can’t stay like this forever, especially since they’re predicting more snow for tomorrow. We’ve decided to shell out cash for a private snow plow to take care of our block. It’s a lot of money, especially when one considers that our tax dollars should cover this, tax dollars that are already exorbitant. But once again, what are we supposed to do?

So, here we are again. Shelburne Road is left with no one to help us but ourselves.

Let us consider where our tax money goes, shall we.

Almost nobody on my block sends their children to public school. It’s not that we’re rich. Hardly, in fact. We just all strongly believe in the importance of a Jewish education for all of our children. We can’t afford it, but we spend the money anyway.

It’s a giant rarity to see a Baltimore City police car patrolling in my neighborhood. They’re busy cleaning up from the murders and other such crimes downtown. If we need their services we can happily wait the half-hour minimum it would take them to come to us. But we don’t like to be robbed. So what did we need to do? We set up volunteer organizations, which are not cheap to run, so we can at least feel safe(r) and (more) secure in our homes. 

So we contribute none of the crime, and receive none of the crime fighting either. Fair?

In our town ambulance service takes forever, and then no matter what service was performed (if any) the expenses are astronomical. Once again, we are forced to sponsor a volunteer first response team to make survival in Baltimore City a possibility. I don’t know where the ambulances are when they’re taking forever to get to us. I assure you, they are not on Shelburne Road.

We used to try and make ourselves feel better about the fact that our taxes were so much higher than the county’s (one block away) because we had more trash pick-ups. Then they reduced our rate of pick-up to that of the county’s. And each week we watch as they toss our cans around and into the street, so they can get run over by cars or get swept away by the wind.

So there you have it. We pay outrageously high taxes for what? To send OTHER kids to school, to watch OTHER streets get plowed, and to see OTHER people protected by the police, while simultaneously paying a small fortune to send our kids to the schools we want, in addition to helping to sponsor private security and plowing. But at least our trash service is bad.

I’m sick of complaining.

If four million people read my blog each day, I’d have no doubt that the problem would be solved immediately. But seeing that that’s not (yet) a reality, I need to look for alternative means of solving the problems.

I don’t even know where to begin. Any suggestions?  

In Parshat Mishpatim we are taught one of the most fascinating laws of the Jewish people.

It goes like this:

If a thief is a burrowing a tunnel into your home, you may kill the thief as he enters. If the sun shines on him (huh?), you may not kill him.

Rashi, the most famous commentator on the Torah, explains everything like this:

Whereas a thief might only have the intention of taking your possessions, he understands in his heart that a man’s home is precious to him, and he is willing to risk his life to save it.

The thief enters your home knowing this, and knowing that nothing will stand in the way of his success.

Therefore, he enters your home not necessarily wishing to be violent, but ready and willing to be as brutal as necessary to not fail his mission.

This puts him into the category in Jewish law of a rodef, i.e. someone who is pursing after another with the intent of killing them. According to Jewish law you are allowed to do whatever is necessary to prevent this heinous crime, even if it means killing the pursuer.

This is why one is allowed to kill the thief. Since you’re not willing or obligated to abandon your own home, and since this person is more than willing to harm you and your family, you are permitted to assume he has lethal intentions, and get him before he gets you.

An exception to this rule can be if you recognize the identity of the thief (”the sun shines on him”) and know for certain that he would never harm you or your family. If that were the case you could confront them, but not kill them as they enter.

I think this case is very parallel to what we see happening in Israel now.

The Jews are at home. Finally. Thousands of years we were estranged from our homeland, but now we’re back, and we’re not going anywhere.

You see, I might dislike what the Israeli government does sometimes. Often, in fact. But that doesn’t change three facts:

a. I love Israel and the Jewish people. All of them!

b. I believe no matter what way you look at things, the entire territory belongs to us and nobody else.

c. Even if the government errs, these are their mistakes to make. A person might paint the interior of his home lime green. It might make me nauseous, and I might think he did something very unintelligent. But it’s his house, and he can do whatever he wants, no matter how ridiculous.

Listen: There are people trying to infiltrate our home. They’ve been doing so for sixty years. And we have been rather accommodating, I must say. We actually “shined the light on them”, so to speak, over and again. We gave our Arab neighbors endless opportunities to show that they can co-exist with us in an eternal world of peace and compromise.

The tests failed.

They don’t like us. Co-existence has been proven unlikely if not impossible. But they want Israel bad, and they’ve demonstrated they’ll kill for it.

They are thieves burrowing into our homes.

You know the rest. 

 I rant:

This past Shabbat my wife and I had a disagreement.

My son was at a friend’s house and my daughter was asleep. On a Shabbat afternoon this can only mean one thing. I am going to lie down and read until I slip into the bliss of one of the greatest pleasures known to man: A Shabbos nap.

One hour later my wife wife woke me so I could check who was knocking repeatedly on our door. Thinking we were entirely on the same page, I stumbled out of my bed and sluggishly made my way to the front door. My sole reason for getting up was the fear that our unidentified door knocker was going to wake up my daughter. As I approached I saw that the outer door was now closed, and whoever was outside had left.

So I did the only logical thing (or so I thought…); I groggily wandered back to my bed and went right back to sleep. My wife asked me who it was, and I told her what had happened.

And then…

She was angry at me for rudely not opening the door and calling out to whoever it was why I hadn’t answered. I was in shock. Why in the world would I have done anything different than what I had done?

Apparently there are three ways of looking at things:

1. I need to answer the door. After all, someone is knocking.

2. As long as it’s not inconvenient, I should answer the door.

3. My house. I’ll answer the door only when I want to.

Let’s look at these viewpoints for a moment:

1. I believe this is simply an offshoot of the same new American viewpoint that says that one must answer the phone so long as it rings. It doesn’t matter if I’m having dinner with my family or having a conversation with a good friend. The phone rang. Everything stops.

In my humble opinion, he who drops everything to answer his door might as well be a slave. It’s like it is society’s home, and society allows his presence there, but he must beckon to its will. His home is not a home. It offers no protection, privacy, or security. The whim of a neighbor is far more important, even if that neighbor is an annoying solicitor. 

2. This second viewpoint is just a watered down version of the first viewpoint. It recognizes some control over your environment, but ultimately the harbinger of such thoughts is just as much a slave as the first type.

This is the kind of person who, while in the midst of personal conversation, checks the caller ID, I assume to see if it’s worth rudely interrupting the person standing before him.

It isn’t.

It never is.

The only advantage this person has over the first is he is far less likely to hop off the toilet and haphazardly wash his hands just to perform the ever important service of accommodating he who knocks.

3. My point of view.

Even if I were sitting against my front door, doing nothing important whatsoever, I feel no obligation at all to either answer the knock at the door, or check to see if it is worth my answering.

I can just keep on doing my nothing important whatsoever.

That’s why it’s MY door.

My home or phone exists to serve me and me alone. If I need to answer the knock or the ring at the whim of another, it’s as if I purchased a house or phone to service others.

I didn’t.

My home is my castle. Stop invading my castle!

If you knocked once and didn’t get an answer, please don’t knock again. Either I’m not home, or I simply don’t want to get the door. Either way, you’re wasting your time. My castle is my protection, my center of privacy. To try and take that from me is inhumane.

* * *

Your thoughts?   

I’m often very critical of Israel, despite the fact that I truly love the country and hope to sometime live there again. It’s sometimes hard to have my brain. I like to give praise where praise is due and criticism where criticism is due. When you make the ever-difficult attempt to objectively scrutinize everything, you run the risk of at best reducing your friend base, and at worst appearing like a bipolar lunatic. But I am who I am.

I can’t help but holding a grudge against the military that took an ardent Zionist and turned him into, well, a lukewarm Zionist. I can’t help but feeling angst when my country’s leaders repeatedly make attempts at goodwill with their sworn enemies, only to watch it backfire time and time again. And I certainly cannot help my feelings of ire at what the Israeli government did to the residents of Gush Katif.

But none of that changes the fact that Israel is still the most incredible and impressive country of modern history.

Two nights ago I sat next to a doctor who was telling stories of his recent trip to Haiti to help in the relief efforts. The feeling I got from this doctor was the Americans arrived with that classic American arrogance, ready to take control of the situation and save the universe. And when they arrived they saw the Israelis, working as if they had been there for years.

How is that puny little Israeli mobilized 250 doctors, and set up a fully-functional hospital in Haiti (halfway across the world) in less than 48 hours, while the ever-impressive mega-country, the good ole US of A, a hop, skip, and a jump away, took far longer and behaved  far less efficiently and impressively?

I have some answers, but I’m not an authority on the logistics. But one thing’s for certain. Israel deserves all the praise in the world for what it has accomplished and continues to accomplish. Despite the fact that it’s only a matter of days before someone accuses Israel of being responsible for the earthquake in the first place (after all, how else could they have mobilized so quickly?), all thinking men and women of the world already know that Israel is a country like no other.

In my continued conversation with this doctor (who repeatedly remarked that his arrival made him “embarrassed to be an American, but proud to be a Jew”), I couldn’t help another thought, which really is reshaping my whole perspective on the incident in the first place.

Like a large percentage of the world I frequently check the news. And like many of those people, I’d probably have better mental health if I didn’t. Is it really necessary to know about all the terrorism, murders, crises, rapes, hate crimes, and more and more and more that happen every single minute in this world? Good needs aren’t sexy. They don’t sell newspapers, so no one reports on them at all. The media fills up the news with the exciting reports of how sick our society has become.

Yet this earthquake has shifted the news’ focus from the sick and twisted nature of humanity, to the readily accessible part inside all of us willing to do the right thing, no matter what the personal expense, with no need for praise or glory. The destruction in Haiti is most certainly tragic, but the good within the terrible is that countless people from all over the world have sacrificed to do the right thing, helping people who they didn’t notice existed before the disaster, and will stop thinking about when the disaster is behind us.

People still are good. Don’t let the media fool you.   

“Only in darkness can you see the stars.” -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

In this week’s parsha we learn one of the most important lessons imaginable… yet it seems to be ignored or unnoticed by oh so many people, beause it’s ever so tricky.

Listen:

As the Jews left Egypt the Torah tells us that God took us the long way. Why? The Torah says that God feared if we went the shorter route we would be led through Plishtim territory. When we saw the war before us we would panic and head back to Egypt.

In essence: God understood that a people that had just suffered over 200 years of slavery, only knew slavery. All challenges before them have the potential of making the slavery not appear as bad as it truly was. We still had a slave mentality, and had no clue that the possibility existed of prevailing militarily, or how good the world out there was.

In other words: The likelihood is we would have preferred slavery with a small chance of premature death to war with a stronger possibility of death, even if it was the only true chance of freedom.

In other words: Change is ever so difficult.

The fact of the matter is that most people hate change. It’s so darn catchy, but it’s frankly a very empty concept, completely void of any value. Change can be fantastic, and change can be dreadful, and change can be everything in between. But it’s a very attractive concept when people are suffering, and it’s ultimately completely necessary for any type of advancement.

Nevertheless, people hate it. No one really likes change, and the only thing people dislike more is change done too quickly.

The Torah isn’t telling us that the Jews would ultimately prefer slavery over freedom, but rather that it would take time for them to get used to the concept of being free people, and they would need to be strategically eased into the process. If change for the better was implemented correctly, for sure the Jewish people would look back and not understand why they ever even considered returning to Egypt. 

And yet all of this went right over the head of the current president of the United States.

He captured Americans’ hearts and minds by manipulating their frustrations and calling for change change change. Millions got themselves caught up in the frenzy.

But almost immediately many of them woke up and realized that they actually didn’t want change, or at least were terribly uncomfortable at the thought of it really happening. And still others were shocked out of their slumber to discover that despite their sincere desire for change, not all changes are intrinsically positive, and the ones they were seeing actually struck them as changes for the worse. And the rest still wanted change, and even liked the changes that were being sought after, but grew increasingly uncomfortable at the speed with which the changes were taking place.

And if only our fearless leader’s pastor had spent as much time speaking about the Bible as he did bad mouthing the United States of America, we wouldn’t be where we are now. 

Constant #2: People don’t like Jews.

I don’t like it. But it’s true.

And it’s not going to change.

Acceptance of these facts is essential for living as a healthy Jew.

As many people know, Israel is doing incredible work in Haiti, and words can’t describe how good this should make us feel. Even CNN is willing to recognize Israel’s integral contribution to the Haitian relief efforts!

But throughout the history of the world there have been countless Jews who had this thought:

“If I do this act, maybe people will like the Jews.”

Or:

“If we change our religion in such-and-such a way, maybe people will stop disliking us.”

Or:

“If we could just do more and more good, maybe we’ll finally put an end to anti-Semitism.”

Well, let’s get this straight once and for all: We did that act, and we changed our religion, and we did more and more good… and anti-Semitism carries on unabated with no end in sight.

Check out this unforgettable quote from ‘just some guy’ named John Smithson:

“I guess giving Israel credit for good deeds in Haiti is like watching a serial killer or other sociopathic type mow an old woman’s lawn (or some other charitable thing).”

In the eyes of those who despise Israel and the Jewish people, we can never truly do good.

So give up, right?

Never!

Rather, we should shift our goals ever so slightly, and carry on being the great nation we’ve always been.

If we live our lives with the hope that every good deed we do is just a step closer to finally ending all the unnecessary prejudices against us, we’re setting ourselves up for severe disappointment.

Rather we should do the right thing because it’s right thing.

Constant #1: No one out there knows a thing about the Jewish people or our practices.  

I don’t know who out there has been following the news in-depth these days. With the tragic events taking place in Haiti sometimes it’s hard to notice that anything else is even happening.

But trust me: This Friday a Jewish person came home with quite a story to tell his friends.

For those who don’t know: This past week an airplane with fifty passengers needed to make an emergency landing. Why? Suspicion of terrorist activities. What did they see? A 17-year old Jewish boy praying, wearing his tefillin. (full story)

A visual:

Scary, no? 

The people on the plane were unaware what these strange items were, and when they confronted the boy, his answers “did not satisfy them.”

So they did an emergency landing in Philadelphia!

No one on the plane, crew or passenger, knew what tefillin were. Either no one thought to use a cell phone and forward a photograph to an intelligence agency, or someone did, but no one in any American intelligence organization had ever heard of tefillin. In my estimation, there were probably even some Jewish people on the plane, also unaware of what tefillin were or what they looked like. 

But the story got kind of buried in the news. I saw it on FoxNews, Arutz Sheva, and Haaretz, but I didn’t see it on CNN. They “lucked out” in having the Haiti story there to dominate the news, so the need to report about the Republican victory in Massachusetts could be downplayed, or this story could be neglected entirely.

Why would they do that? Well, embarrassing the TSA or any American intelligence agency ultimately embarrasses the current administration, which is not part of CNN’s agenda. The Israeli news services don’t care, and FoxNews loves when the Obama government looks bad.

Think about it: Someone is allowed to board a plane who had just been radicalized in Yemen, who could have raised red flags in a computer program designed by a four-year-old, and less than a month later we’re forcing planes to land because of Jewish kids praying.

Do you feel safer?

Please forward this post to anyone out there who has never heard of tefillin or doesn’t know what they look like… so next time I’m behind schedule and need to put on my tefillin on a plane, I don’t cause the plane to be grounded or get interrogated by the FBI.

Frankly, it’s a matter of national security.

I’ll never forget a moment as I sat in an Israeli army base several years ago. A group of soldiers were working on some documentation when their commander asked them a simple question. “Why are we required to put the Hebrew date on the top of all official documents?”

The soldiers immediately started shooting out answers. “Tradition,” one would say. “No,” came the nonchalant reply. So we won’t go to jail? Nope. In case someone doesn’t understand the other kind of date? Uh-uh.

“Because we’re Jews,” he said. “Because we’re Jews.”

I remembered this moment recently when I was having a discussion with my fifth graders about the significance of Rosh Hashana (the Jewish new year). I compared Rosh Hashana with the secular new year and asked my students why New Year’s Day was important. I couldn’t get any answers more profound than it’s proximity to their sibling’s birthday or their one day when they get to stay up late. Yet when I suggested that perhaps this might be a sign that the day was entirely irrelevant to the Jewish people, the students jumped up with excitement, if not rage.

You see, in Parshat Bo we are given the mitzvah of Rosh Chodesh, celebrating the beginning of each month of the Jewish calendar. We are offered the opportunity to remember dates of excessive import to the Jewish people, dates we are told to remember time and time again. Every day of the week is counted in its relationship to Shabbat. Every month throughout the Torah is counted in relation to the month of Nisan, the months the Jews were liberated from Egypt. And every year is numbered in relation to the date of the creation of the universe.

And despite all this, despite all of the tremendous opportunities we have to celebrate our glorious past, far more Jews celebrate New Year’s Day than line the synagogue pews on Rosh Hashana. And Rosh Chodesh is all but forgotten amongst the masses. We abandoned our rich and illustrious culture in favor of what!? A day that many believe is the anniversary of the circumcision of Jesus, and 2010 years since little baby Jesus came into the world! We celebrate the first inklings of a faith that would be responsible for over a millennium of torture and murder of our people.
 
Perhaps this all helps explain the somewhat bizarre location of this mitzvah, smack in between the ninth and tenth plagues, the plagues that would result in the end of the Jewish people’s first of many experiences with slavery, degradation, and murder. Why in the world are we being told to remember the months right now!? God is telling us that it is so easy for us to forget ourselves amongst the nations of the world. But we always need to remember, no matter where we are or what we do, we are Jews and we need to behave like Jews.  

In just a matter of months after the most glorious departure in the history of the world, the Jewish people are going to be trapped in a desert and starving. They’re going to start whining that it really stinks for them that they’re hungry in a desert, when they used to eat their full in Egypt. A sad commentary on human priorities. We would rather be trapped in abject slavery, beaten, battered, threatened, and slaughtered… but with readily available food, then inching closer to a life of endless personal and spiritual freedom, with a prerequisite period of discomfort and suffering.  

Things don’t seem to change. Our priorities are still as confused as ever. On a day to day basis we forget who we are and where we came from. We are Jews, and should be beyond proud.

When the big earthquake hit Haiti I found myself reluctant to check news reports of the developments.

Why? At first I didn’t really know. Generally I consider myself a caring, sympathetic person, interested in the plight of hurt or oppressed people throughout the world. So why would I not want to know more and more about these poor, innocent men, women, and children?

I was introspective, but it got me nowhere.

Until I saw this news report on cnn.com:

FBI warning of Haiti earthquake scams

By Linda Petty, CNN

(CNN) — As the world looks for ways to help the victims of Haiti’s earthquake, the FBI is now warning that there are also those who are looking for opportunities set up scams surrounding the latest disaster relief efforts. (see full story)

What is wrong with the world!?

I understand that an article like this is necessary. But I still can’t fathom the fact that someone functions like this!! I can’t believe there is a human in the world who can say to themselves:

“Oh great! 50,000 people are dead, scores more are in ruin, and the world is reaching out in droves to help them. How can I manipulate the situation to my own advantage?”

But alas…

And then it hit me.

I was literally getting minute-by-minute updates when the tsunami hit. I was in awe. It was so hard for me to relate to, and I felt such a bitter pain watching all the clips and reading all the stories. My compassion was on overload.

And then I encountered this story, and to date all I need to do is think about it for a moment and I get nauseous:

Tsunami Survivor Raped By Rescuer
Sri Lankan Teenager Escapes Tsunami Only To Be Attacked

By Bootie Cosgrove-Mather

(AP)  She survived the tsunami, only to suffer the brutality of her rescuer.

On a pilgrimage to a temple, the 18-year-old and her family stopped for a picnic by the beach. That’s when the tsunami struck.

Flailing in the water, the teenager heard a voice. “He told me to grab his hand, that he will save me,” she said.

She and the stranger were swept into a muddy river. When they reached a bank, he pushed her into a bed of brambles and raped her.

“I screamed and told him not to hurt me,” the shy teenager told The Associated Press. “He put his hands around my neck and told me that even if he kills me right there, no one will know.” (see full story)

* * * 

And here I am.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Only in darkness can you see the stars.” His words ring true in each and every generation. It is most certainly at our worst moments where we find out who are the greatest heroes of our society. Nevertheless, it certainly seems that time and time again we find that in times of darkness every time we turn around and just find more darkness.

And so I pray. I pray that no one uses these moments of abject suffering for their own criminal financial gain. I pray that no one discovers (or even seeks) a way to manipulate these situations for their own sick physical or mental pleasure. I pray that no one gazes upon moments of tragedy to grab power and influence from the society around them. I pray that no one misuses human suffering to arrogantly demonstrate their supposed knowledge of God’s will, embarrassing the spiritual community and defaming the name of God Himself!

Let the stars have a chance to shine! Let the good people become known to the world! If any shining lights can be found in the dark turmoil of Haiti, let them shine on the potential goodness man truly harbors at any given moment.